The gossip magazines are often gripped by a need to explain beauty – to show the routines, easy steps, diet tips, make-up transformations, exercise makeovers and celebrity trainer secrets behind the 15 or so women in the world deemed physically perfect.
Grazia’s cover story, “Miranda: How To Get her $5m Body” spells out what women need to resemble one of the top 10 earning models in the world, Miranda Kerr.
Banish hellish visions of spirit-crushing exercise because it’s never been easier to become a 25-year-old supermodel posing for Victoria’s Secret on the French Caribbean island St Barts in a bikini no bigger than a teabag. Kerr proves this in several photos.
Grazia’s tips, translated here into simple language for easy application, mean beauty in a trice.
Tip One: “Body: Side Kicks”. Anyone after a nice bottom should swing one leg to the left and the other to the right until this happens. Have plenty of time on your hands, possibly up to a year, and don’t be deterred by the difficulties of performing this groundbreaking manoeuvre while walking, working or trying to sleep. Press on!
Tip Two: “Food: Eat Good Carbs”. Basically, forget all that stuff about carbohydrates being the devil’s food. Have a few of the boring carbs but without oil or butter or memory of food that does not taste like a boiled wicker basket and you will be beautiful.
Tip Three: “Inner Glow: Get Creative”. Kerr says expressing herself creatively makes her happy. She likes to draw, get her hands muddy, and dance at home. Combining all three activities is, however, ill advised lest you remind friends and family of Farrah Fawcett, the Jennifer Aniston of the 1970s, and her ill-fated 1997 video All Of Me in which the blonde star rubbed paint over her naked body after painting a canvas.
Tip Four: “Relaxed Chic”. Expensive clothes are great but no one should overdo it. If you are wearing a $15,000 Prada gown, lighten it up with sneakers or woollen mittens or pencils wedged in your nostrils. What a wag. Ride a motorbike pillion style with your actor boyfriend sometimes as well.
Tip Five: “Go Natural”. Use make-up that is natural looking, to enhance your naturalness. The more expensive it is the less other people will notice you are wearing it. Result!
Accompanying these five tips is the sad truth. Grazia’s more in-depth article “It’s Official! Miranda is the New Body” says Kerr exercises every day, using jogging, yoga and meditation routines, and eats healthy food.
For a moment it all seemed just so easy.
source: The Sydney Morning Herald